Dating Dance

I decided to take my first steps back into the dating world today and I asked a man out on a date. I didn't wake up this morning thinking that today was going to be the day I took this step, nor did I wake up today even thinking about said man. In fact, it was a funny story.

Due to a miscommunication with my therapist (yes, of course I see a therapist and I am of the personal belief that nobody should go to a doctor that doesn't see a therapist!) I was late for my appointment with him today. The man, whom works in his office and I have chatted with a couple of times, looked so excited to see me walk in and so disappointed when I ran right past him that half the time through my therapy session, all I could think of was his sad puppy dog face. Once I got out of therapy, I saw that he was in one of his Superior's offices so I walked past and kept on going about my business. As I was waiting for my elevator, I saw him through the office window hurry out of the office to catch a glimpse at me. Digression: Now, maybe he wasn't trying to catch a glimpse at me and I do not want to come off as conceited. I am fully aware of how silly all of this sounds. However, I would like to think of myself as a pretty level headed person and based on his practically tripping over his desk to look out the window and responding to my soon to be mentioned action, I am of the personal belief that he was looking out for me. It was then that I decided to signal him over with the "come hither" finger and he came running over to the door. I invited him to join me for the Pirates game next Wednesday and he accepted.

So there I was, feeling proud of myself because I took a step in the right direction and I put myself out there. The funny thing is I didn't feel nervous. I didn't feel like I was exposed to the new world or scared to be trying something new. I always had the conception that people were nervous when performing the "dating dance." I thought that I would be blushing and shy and remarkably out of touch with today's flirting techniques and smooth pick up lines. Yes gentlemen, ladies worry about this too. However, while I felt odd that I was not the least bit concerned with rejection or my nerves what bother me is that I don't feel excited either.

I am telling myself that I will be looking forward to my date by next Tuesday when it is closer to the time and that it is too soon for me to really start thinking about this up and coming night out. But then again, shouldn't this be a bigger deal? I "recently" ended a 5 year relationship so shouldn't I be more invested into then I am? Maybe the fact that I am dedicating a blog to it tells me that I am. However, this entry is not only dedicated to this one date. Oh no, for it is either feast, or famine.

For no sooner had I scheduled this date, that I walked out of the building and ran into an acquaintance of mine who I volunteer with at a local shelter. We meet on the street and I was genuinely happy to see him. I don't recall ever seeing him outside of the shelter and he looked so happy to see me. We talked for a couple of minutes and just updated each other on the past week and he completely side swiped me by asking me out on a date. I was completely shocked! Not only by the fact that he asked me out, because I wasn't aware that he felt that way about me. But also because not less than 5 minutes earlier, I had been asking someone else out on a date! And yet again, not nervous or anxious.

I really pray that my good luck in the "dating dance" today is a sign that I am moving on and showing me that I am slowly able to disassociate feelings of romance and excitement away from C. As for now the next thing I need to do is buy my sister an exact replica of my outfit that I wore today, who as she put it so wisely said, "If you can get two dates in two minutes in those clothes, then I want one in every color!"