Breakdown

It is amazing; the first day that I am ready and open to tell my peers about my new state of "singleness" I get asked out on two dates. I am beginning to wonder what was the mindset of these two people. Maybe it is my fault because I am too good of an actress. For years, I have been smiling through the rough periods and I have given the illusion of a happy personal life. Since I have had all of this practice, it has made it rather easy to keep my composure when out in public. If you were to see me on the street, you would swear that I didn't have a care in the world. It is only when I am alone in my apartment, and here typing away at this keyboard when I breakdown.


To be in a relationship means to be deceptive. Let's face it, we have all had to face our own demons because no relationship is perfect. But I wonder, why do we lie to each other? Why did I sit there and pretend to be fine all of the many times that I am not? I am a very personal person but I can be very open to. Yet, it is quite baffling to me that sometimes, especially when I am hurting, I cannot be open with the people that are the dearest to me, but I can be completely open to an acquaintance, to a friend, to a stranger. What is it about our society where we are afraid to show others how we are truly feeling, especially when it matters the most?