Letting Go

I cannot quite describe it. I feel like I have been holding onto a broken off piece of myself for so long. I have seen it chip away, fall off and I have cradled it in my arms mourning over its loss for so long. Within the past couple of weeks I believe that I have wiped off my tears and I am ready to let go. I wish that I had the words to describe how I have changed.

About a month ago, all I could think of was C and how I wished he would changed. Today, he has changed into the person I had longed for and I no longer desire him. I was able to talk to him, without tears or emotions getting the best of me and tell him that I wanted to move on. I was able to tell him that there was no future for us. I was able to tell him that I didn't want to talk to him as much anymore. It was freeing and releasing and he gave me a great gift; he let me go.

He said he is letting me move on. Let's see from now on if he holds true to his word because I really do not want to falter and fall back into his arms and clutch onto that piece of myself that cannot be a part of me anymore.

In other news, J is taking me to meet his parents tonight. This might be moving a little too quickly and I really don't want to use him as a rebound. I don't have much time to write about this now, but I can already feel my fingers itching to get back to the keyboard so I can analyze myself more and figure out exactly how I am doing in this crazy post-breakup world.